What is emotion regulation and what is it not?

โ€ž๐—ช๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ด๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜?โ€ ๐Ÿง

Letโ€™s start with what it is not….

๐—œ๐˜โ€™๐˜€ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜ ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฑ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฝ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—บ.The emotion is your co-pilot โ€“ telling you when to be careful, quick, slowโ€ฆ.. You are in the driversโ€™ seat! ๐Ÿš™

Now ๐Ÿ‘€ Looking back for a moment:
As mentioned in the last post:
โžก๏ธ E๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ๐˜€ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฎ๐˜๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป! Usually because itโ€™s important or even dangerous.
And always know:
โžก๏ธ You are dealing with a ๐—ฝ๐—ต๐˜†๐—น๐—ผ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐—ผ๐—น๐—ฑ ๐˜€๐˜†๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—บ (meaning our alarm system has not really changed since our times in the caves ๐Ÿฏ). Conflicts at work alarm us just as much as the saber-toothed tiger did. Therefore, it often makes sense to regulate our emotions.

๐Ÿค“ ๐—ฆ๐—ผ, ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ด๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป?
Emotion regulation refers to how you attempt to direct negative emotions in a particular direction or action.

Again, lots of debate around that ๐Ÿคช
In the simplest way I would define it as our ๐—ฎ๐—ฏ๐—ถ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜๐˜† ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ด๐—ป๐—ถ๐˜‡๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฎ ๐—ด๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—น ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ฎ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ป๐—ถ๐—พ๐˜‚๐—ฒ (more about that in future posts), ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜€๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป. ๐—”๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜€๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น ๐—ฑ๐—ผ ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—น๐˜† instead of letting a disfunctional pattern take over.

ER also refers to states that are of relatively ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜ ๐—ฑ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€.

๐— ๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—ฑ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ด๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป, on the other hand, would refer to longer lasting affective states that do not necessarily have one trigger.

Now, you might say: ๐—ฆ๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐Ÿคš ๐—œ๐˜€๐—ปโ€™๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ฒ? ๐——๐—ผ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฒ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ด๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น?

Yes โ€“ thatโ€™s life. But you donโ€™t necessarily have to make it harder on yourself than necessary. Also, regulating your emotions means that you ๐—บ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฎ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐˜๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ. And, this directly benefical for your mental and physical health. ๐ŸŽ‰ Good news, isn’t it? ๐Ÿ˜Š

๐ŸŒŸ Check, when things are heated up, if you find a trigger!
๐ŸŒŸ Wait for a moment to observe, how things often get clearer, just by slowing down a bit!

My next post will be about how emotion regulation can make you more content ๐ŸŒบ
So, stay tuned and press follow.

Stephanie Czernin

Als Psychiaterin, Systemische Psychotherapeutin und Coach hilft Stephanie Menschen, ihre Emotionen zu regulieren und auch unter Druck strategisch und bewusst zu handeln. Sie arbeitet mit Techniken aus der Systemik, des traumasensitiven Coachings, der Sportpsychologie und der Hypnose. Ursprรผnglich aus Wien stammend lebt sie heute mit ihrem Mann und ihren beiden Kindern in Basel und ist eine passionierte Suchende in Sachen Lebensfรผhrung und mental mastery - und ein grosser Fan der klassischen Musik.

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Copyright by Stephanie Czernin. All rights reserved.

Copyright by Stephanie Czernin. All rights reserved.